Music Is My Therapy (Facebook.com/eshamusictherapy)
When I was seven years old I was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, a neurological disorder that causes me to make involuntary movements and sounds. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was ‘different’. Little seven year old me hardly understood why I couldn’t control my eyes from clenching and my arms from flailing around. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t sit in a desk, and I couldn’t take a test without disturbing everyone in the room.
However, it was during this time, that I began to realize the effect that music had on me and my Tourette. Music quickly became my best friend.
Since before my diagnosis, my mom and I would write poems together every night, but it wasn’t until after my diagnosis that they started holding a real importance in my life. Initially, I wrote about princesses, puppies, and trees, but as I experienced more through my diagnosis, the topics became deeper. Eventually they turned into songs. I found that when I did something music related, my symptoms would lessen and quite often disappear. Writing songs started becoming more than just a hobby to me; it became my medicine and it became my therapy.
I realized that writing gave me the perfect opportunity to get out all my emotions and express how I was feeling and what I was going through in a way that people would want to listen. At the age of twelve I wrote ‘Beautiful’, a song about true, inner beauty. The song was not a place I was at, at the time, but it became my mantra. It was a song I wrote for myself, to remind myself what beauty really was.
As I’ve gotten older and have written more songs, I realize that my Tourette is actually a blessing in disguise. With the help of music I’ve able to better understand that this disorder I have, is just a small part of me. I’ve started understanding that there is more to me than my diagnosis. I’ve begun to see myself as a talented, smart, beautiful young girl who can heal herself through her music.
My parents, seeing my dedication and eagerness to make change and share my music, took me to Nashville to record my first album Beautiful. This album is a personal diary. Each song on the record is about my struggles with Tourette Syndrome and the things that it has taught me. I hope that through my music, people who are in similar situations will feel understood and empowered.
I always thought my Tourette would hold me back but in the end it was what started this whole thing that made my dream come true. I was five years old when I made microphones out of cardboard and sang karaoke to an imaginary crowd of people. Flash forward 11 years and I’m living the dream I never thought I would achieve. Today If you ask me what I’m most grateful to have in my life, I’ll say my Tourette Syndrome and I’ll mean it. It’s made me stronger, it’s taught me my greatest life lessons, and it is the reason I am where I am today.
I started ‘Music is My Therapy’ page in June 2015. Up till now, it’s simply been the part of my music career that donates sales of CD’s to foundations like the Tourette Association of America and the Autism Foundation of Aruba. Now, It’s time to give the idea wings.
I’m creating this official Facebook page in hopes that it will inspire people experiencing life challenges to find what they love and let it save them.
Music affects us all and for some of us with personal challenges, we might find that it is magical and therapeutic. I would love to hear some of your stories about the healing power of music in your life. If you would like to share your experiences please send it to me by email on musictherapy@eshaofficial.com
This was the beginning of my story; I hope you can make it the beginning of yours.
Stay Beautiful,
Esha xx
